Nelda Johnston

A week ago, I had the honor of speaking at an incredible lady's funeral, her name was Nelda Johnston. Because of a friendship I started with her son at a very early age, Nelda and her husband Dale had a huge influence on my life. As I look back on the impact they had on me, I realize they were a part of a group of adults, which included my parents, who never accepted me for who I was during my youth years. I have to admit, there was a reason for their unacceptance. When I think about my life, I wonder how I would have turned out if I had grown up in an era where unacceptance of "who your child is" is considered child abuse. My parents were not accepting of many of my decisions. My dad often confirmed his unacceptance with this teaching tool he had that I will call "the belt of unacceptance". I was also surrounded by other adults who had that same tool, and my parents would not get upset if they used it on me. I went to a high school, Leon High School, where the teachers, coaches, and principal did not always accept me for who I was and proved it often through pushups, making me run with no regard to my physical well-being, and even with the use of something now considered cruel; the threat of a board swung at a velocity that would make tears fly from one's eyes and, once their eyes were cleared, made them look in the mirror to verify if their butt was still attached. I look back at the girls I dated, or was even just friends with, and I realize most of the time I treated them with a level of respect in direct proportion to what their parents were willing to accept. I went to college, the first time, and spent three semesters as a drunk idiot and my parents didn't accept that, so I paid for most everything with student loans, and then paid for that party for many years later. My dad always said, "what you need is a job", but I thought getting a job would impede my ability to maintain a GPA that started with a decimal point. By the way, I am the only person I know that went three straight semesters without ever having a number in front of that decimal, and even though that is an incredible accomplishment, my parents never found it acceptable. Finally, I found out what I needed was a job, who could have known? We are now in a time where not accepting a young person for "who they are" is completely unacceptable and our society is paying a price. Men no longer have to act like men, young ladies are no longer required to date a guy that looks and acts like a gentleman or meet their parents' allowable respect level, so they end up with husbands who treat them with disrespect, many young people march in the street because they feel entitled to demand society change to make their lives better rather than changing their lives in order to make our society better, and it is considered unacceptable for parents to call a child's decisions and lifestyle choices unacceptable. So, the answer to my original question of how I would have turned out is I really don't know, and I am very glad that I don't know that answer. Even with those people in my life who tried to guide me away from who I was, I turned out to be a very flawed individual, and one of the main things that has kept me from being a victim of my flaws is the question that was engrained in my mind by those adults who did not always accept me for who I was, "Is what I am doing acceptable?". I get it wrong a lot, but eventually that question brings me back to between the lines. So for all those folks who did not accept me for who I was, including Nelda Johnston, I say thank you, and I know a couple of weeks ago Nelda heard the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant".